Played by: Drake Nelson
Race: Formless Identity. (Human?)
How did this begin?
I think back to the last moments of my life, my opponent is mighty, I cannot win. As it strangles the life out of me I resort to my trump card.
“Scatter with me into everything!”
…and then I am lost, vanished into the Mana stream where I have languished ever since. Realizing I was trapped, I quickly erected a series of barriers to shield my essence against those that would unknowingly drain me for their spells. As the years drag by I have abandoned all hope of rescue, I have simply resigned myself to endure the never ending onslaught of time, a prisoner devoid of form, identity and even a physical presence.
This never ending everything,
I am omnipresent, scattered across the vastness of the Mana steam. Every instant I endure the collective perception of innumerable lives, yet retain no more than few fleeting moments. It is a mercy, my fragile mortal mind would burst in an instant if exposed to even a moment of omniscience. I have placed wards to resist even those fleeting moments I might otherwise retain. Sometimes even then, under the overwhelming strain; an experience evades my barriers and sticks with me. Each haunts me, for every memory; a salmon struggling upstream, the pained screams of a wounded soldier, the grief of a Mother whose child was born still, steals away the place of one of my own and pushes me further into madness.
It has been so long, my life in this place has long since exceeded the life that came before. I have outlived the expectancy of a human, and it is terrifying, for now it has become clear that even the freedom of death lies beyond the reaches of time. I feel so very old, I feel so very trapped.
The years pass like this. Perhaps there was life before all of this came to pass, but it has been so long I can scarcely remember. Nothing but fragments remain of who I was, and I can’t shake the feeling even those pieces are wrong too. I have even forgotten the choices I made to find myself here, that feeling eats away at what little is still left of me. What a cruel fate, to suffer with no memory of the cause. What did I trade this for? Perhaps if I could only know why I might be able to make peace with this.
I now long for death, any escape from this eternal madness. The barriers I first established to protect myself now shackle me to this existence, and I am powerless to undo them. I can only wish they shatter, so that I might interact with the physical world one last time as I am drawn into a spell and consumed.
I surrender my mental wards, I surrender to madness. I am no longer anybody, I simply experience. I have accepted my fate. I will simply be content to observe without purpose. I see now that I have always been free, from this moment on I will revel in this fate. There is so much to feel and yet never know.
And then one day, it came to an end.
In a blast I emerge, immediately assaulted by an onslaught of physical sensation that I had grown unaccustomed to. Every touch is overwhelming, every sight is blinding, every sound deafening. The world screams and swirls around me, the simple forest appears as a maelstrom to me.
Strangers approach, I do not trust them, but they are kind and calm and I am a stranger to this reality. As I regain my bearings, a terrible reality sinks in, I have reemerged into a new world, lifetimes after my disappearance on Faedrun. I can remember nothing but the screams of those left behind. Loved ones I was helpless to save, but whose names I cannot even remember. The guilt tears me apart and I sink into existential terror.
I watch them die, over and over. Time passes.
My sight is plagued by hallucinations both profound and insane. Between conflicting layers of reality, great truths of the world dance alongside warped, alien and bizarre thoughts. Amongst them lurks the dark remnants of a storm that has clawed its way into my heart. Fragment memories of innumerable lives haunt me and I am powerless to discern which are my own.
Despite this agony, I have found new purpose in this world they call “Mardrun”. Perhaps I will never regain the clarity of a mortal man, but I have become something far greater. In time, I will use my power to make everything right again. After all, I am Vazra; the greatest mage to ever live.