Name: Simone Fitzsimmons
Age: 19
Race: Human
Occupation: Herbalist. Heals people with magic-y stuff
Known Skills: Observation. Listening.
Birthplace: Faedrun
Appearance: Black hair that she usually keeps down, shorter than most people,
Relationships: presumably plenty of Order members know her since she grew up in the Order
Fear. Leaving the old world, coming to the new world. To Mardrun. It was all I had. Fear of the dead. Fear of the water. Fear of the fangs. Fear of the… monsters? Mordok. They’re called mordok. The fear kept me alive. Survival instincts are just another fancy term for fear. Bravery is just a fancy term for ignoring your fear.
I don’t remember my parents. I know they were part of the Order. I also know they died before we got to Mardrun. I don’t know how. I never asked. I do know that I came to a new place, alone and horribly afraid. Surrounded by adults I didn’t know. I know that the people I met here saved my life. I know that the place they took me was the only place I felt like I could breath. I know the things they taught me, about Arnath and his teachings. The big people who wore their heavy armor suits, I called them the smart ones. They marched in their bravery costumes with their short hammers and courage shields. I could never imagine being that close to something attacking me. I keep a sword just in case, but I’d much rather keep my distance. About 9 feet, to be specific. But Arnath demands that I stand true, to not recoil before my enemy. That doesn’t stop the fear, though. It just means i’m better at ignoring it than I was as a child.
I used to hide behind those taller than me. It wasn’t difficult then, as a child. It probably isn’t difficult now, since even full grown I’m still as tall as a child. I would sit close to the fire while I meditated so that I wouldn’t think about how cold I was. In time I learned that letting your eyes adjust to the darkness is the best way to stay safe, so the things in the dark can’t creep up on you. I also learned that venturing outside of Starkhaven was dangerous on its own, but most of the time, incredibly necessary. I still don’t like going out. But bravery doesn’t mean having no fear, it just means looking past it. I can be shaking in my boots and still protect myself.
I’ve never been the loud type. Or chatty. Or talkative at all, really. It’s always been, ‘speak when spoken to, stay out of the way, don’t fall behind.’ Mardrun is a chaotic place, full of people with far more important jobs than just me, as useful as I can sometimes be. Besides, being distracted making small talk never helped anyone. Quiet people are often ignored, which makes it a lot easier to listen in, to observe. To be His eyes. It’s important to stay aware and get the job done. And to stay aware to stay alive.
Update:
As Starkhaven settled after the events of The Order Civil War, Simone found herself spending more and more time in the settlement and less time out and about on Mardrun. Eventually she fell into a comfortable routine within the City and found her own way to serve Arnath in her life and actions. Her days of campaigns and adventures had come and gone.
Retirement Story:
On Simone’s desk in her room in Starkhaven, her journal sits. Folded inside is a piece of paper with the chivalric code known as “The Path” written. Between each line of writing, there’s smaller handwriting. The paper is dotted with water droplets that have made the ink run, but it’s still legible.
The journal page with the folded paper reads:
“June 25, 267
Duty to the People:
Serve justice. Protect the weak. Serve justice. Protect the weak.
Duty to Arnath:
Be the good that strikes down evil. Devote yourself to The Path.
Duty to the Order:
Obedience to the Order. Obedience to Arnath. Have the courage to walk The Path. Serve Arnath.
Thou shalt not give into sways of great emotion, but allow them to further thyself.
I felt every emotion when my spear went through the children of the Fist. I don’t feel any ‘further’.
Thou shalt carry forward on all thy endeavors, even through hardship
This isn’t hardship. This is… cold guilt.
Thou shalt understand that all things come with time
No time will heal them or their wounds. They will never step foot on The Path again. Or any path. They’re dead.
Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.
The children… oh Arnath… the children.
Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.
We’re they truly the enemy? Is the enemy someone who interprets Arnath’s teachings differently than I?
Thou shalt never lie, and shalt remain faithful to thy pledged word.
I will not lie. I will not lie by omission. I will not pretend I didn’t cause tragedy after tragedy. They had families.
Thou shalt be generous, and give largesse to everyone.
What have I given? What have I provided?
Thou shalt be always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil
I am not right, or good, or just. I am a murderer.
Thou shalt treat all with the love you would treat thyself
Where was my love? Where was I?
Thou shalt remain humble even if thy do great deeds, for it is the Path that matters most.
The Path. All my great deeds, for The Path. All that death, for The Path. All the blood on my hands. For The Path.
Thou shalt honor your friends, Order, and country.
My friends. My country. The Order of the Light.
We were supposed to be walking The Path. We were supposed to be walking the path of Arnath, softening the hard edges of the church. We were supposed to push for diplomacy, be more progressive, push Starkhaven forward.
Is this what Arnath wanted? For his Path to be riddled with the bodies of his followers? His children? For strangers we’ve decided to call ‘allies’ to march with us and strike down our own?
I can still feel the blood. I can still hear the children screaming. I can still see the look on their mothers face when I put my spear through their guts.
What kind of person puts their children into a fight?
What kind of person fights those children without question?
Is this The Path? Is this His Light?”