Rossignol
Played by: Samantha Vold
Occupation: Dominus of the Natural Sciences (of the Ravens)
“Edmuir! I have the solution to your aching tooth!” Rossignol cried as she burst eagerly through the door.
Edmuir looked up from the chainmail he was repairing, “Rose, I don’t trust you and your crazy ideas. You know that.”
“Just because the dragon thing didn’t work out, doesn’t mean all my ideas are idiotic,” Rossignol replied defensively.
“I have yet to see a brilliant idea come out of that supposedly brilliant brain of yours,” Edmuir retorted.
“Hey. You agreed to always support me and tell me how great I am,” Rossignol snapped back.
“I am supporting you. I’m giving you a dose of reality. Your “science” ideas aren’t working out,” Edmuir replied.
“No. Being supportive means you go along with my crazy ideas. And I’m just trying to help you! But you obviously don’t want it….” Rossignol replied.
Edmuir sighed, “Fine. I’ll at least let you tell me about your crazy idea.”
“Huzzah!” Rossignol exclaimed excitedly. “Well. First, I found this plant that if you chew on it for about 15 minutes, it should numb your mouth. The whole thing.”
“Can you confirm this?” Edmuir asked.
“Yes. I tried it on myself earlier. Now. After your mouth is numb, I’ll brace it open with this.” Rossignol held up a small metal rod. “Then I’ll scrape around your tooth, exposing the bottom of it. When I feel I’ve accomplished that, I’ll pull it out with a pliers! By the way, I’ll need to borrow your pliers….”
Edmuir walked across the room to Rossignol and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve gone mad, dear. I’m not going to let you do that.”
“But! Doesn’t your tooth hurt? I can fix it! And I have an abundance of this plant to keep the pain away while the tooth completely heals.”
“Have you tried this before?”
“Um. On a dog. But it didn’t work out very well because the dog kept wiggling…You can be my first real test subject!”
“You almost killed me the last time I agreed to be your test subject.”
“Only almost! You’re not dead! You’re here talking to me! I won’t kill you this time!” Rossignol indignantly exclaimed.
Edmuir sighed, “I can’t let you do it, dear. I don’t trust your idea.”
Rossignol looked at him sadly, “It’s okay. I understand. I’m a bad scientist…” She pouted.
Edmuir kissed the top of her head, “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying you should stick to what your mentor taught you and study to be a better herbalist. You’ve been doing well with that so far.”
“But! That gets boring! I want to try new things!” Rossignol pouted.
“Then try new things. Just new things that don’t involve pulling my tooth out,” Edmuir replied.
Rossignol sighed, “Fine. It’s okay. I understand you don’t love me and don’t want to help me become a better scientist.”
Edmuir rolled his eyes at Rossignol, “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“I knew it!” Rossignol exclaimed.
Edmuir kissed the top of her head again and hugged her to him. Rossignol buried her face in his chest, then quickly reached up and snapped her hand at the side of his neck. Edmuir dropped to the floor, unconscious.
“Holy shit! I didn’t think that would work!” Rossignol exclaimed.
She dragged him over to a chair and strapped his arms and feet down with some leather straps she kept in her bag. Then she stuck a couple leaves of the plant she found into Edmuir’s mouth and manually helped him chew, opening and closing his jaw. Once satisfied that he’d be alright, she propped his jaw open with the metal rod. Edmuir stirred a bit, but she gave him another quick smack on the neck and he was out again. She then grabbed her chisel and the pliers and began to work. Once the tooth was pulled, she wadded some gauze in the back of his mouth to quell the bleeding and sat on the floor, staring at Edmuir until he woke up.
“R-Rose…what did you do?” He mumbled through a numbed mouth, still groggy from unconsciousness. “Why does my mouth feel funny?”
Proudly, Rossignol held up Edmuir’s tooth. “I fixed it!”
Startled, Edmuir pulled at his restraints. “You little shit,” he mumbled.
Rossignol smiled, “But I helped!”
Edmuir glared at her as she got up and walked over to him.
“Promise you won’t strangle me if I undo the straps?” she asked.
Edmuir glared at her again, “I don’t know…”
“Give it a couple of days? If it doesn’t feel better, then you can strangle me?”
Edmuir sighed, “Fine.”
“Great!” Rossignol undid his straps and held out a couple more leaves, “You may want to at least suck on these for a bit, chew them if you can. It’ll help with the pain.”
Edmuir took the leaves and did as he was told. Then got out of the chair and laid on the floor, head still feeling weird after waking up. Rossignol bent down to kiss his forehead, and Edmuir spit a gob of bloody leaf chunks in her face.
“Really? This is the thanks I get? You’re disgusting!”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the only thanks you deserve,” Edmuir replied. “You knocked me out and pulled out a tooth without my consent.”
“I guess that’s kind of fair. But I’m still keeping the tooth!” Rossignol cried as she ran out the door with her new prize to add to her collection of oddities.
Edmuir sighed and smiled, “That is a whole lot of crazy in a tiny little package.”