I think I do not care for war.
Fighting, I understand. We must fight for our lives. When Grimward and Stonetooth raise sword and claw to strike us down, there is no choice but to meet them in kind. We must spill their blood, so that they do not spill ours. We must fight to protect our people and our lands. We must stand together, or we will die, and our names will be forgotten.
At first, I thought that war was just this fighting, but greater, and that the only difference was in the number of soldiers. But today, I have seen that this is not the case.
We had a duty to deliver goods to Grimsendir. An important task, to keep safe the lives of those within its walls, and the people living in the lands beyond the line it guards. Several times, this day, I left our camp, to guard supplies and my fellow soldiers. Each time, I did not know if I would return. If I would return to Saga. By Gaia’s will, I did. Others were not so blessed.
But while I was on the paths, I saw war, and saw how my allies and enemies saw it. War is not fighting. War is sport. War is a time for boasting, a time for foolish bravery. It is a time to create and grow the legend of a warrior.
It disgusts me.
On my third delivery of supplies, there was one Grimward soldier preventing us from returning to camp. We outnumbered him, many times over. It would have been a simple matter to surround him and cut him down. But one of our soldiers called for an ‘honor duel’.
‘No interference’, I heard, echoed around me. The battle blocked our cart from returning. More Grimward could have arrived at any moment. What could have been a safe and sure victory was risked for glory. For this ‘honor’.
No interference. I am reminded of my father. His demand that an Ulven must stand alone. That it is a weakness to count on others.
What a waste.
The other Einherjar are good people, but they share these thoughts as well, at times, as does my mate. I have a great respect for our Toralf, though. Though his body was bloodied and bruised by Grimward hands, he spoke to us not as a warrior, but as a fighter. He told us to survive, to protect each other, and we did. No Einherjar fell this day. We would not allow it. I am grateful to have him back. I think I do not care for war.